Starting a Family - Why is nothing happening?

Jakob and Annemarie knew what they wanted. They began dating in university and had talked about starting a family since they graduated. Annemarie stopped using birth control, and the couple assumed the rest would follow. Naturally, they enjoyed the process and weren’t in a hurry. But after some months, Annemarie couldn’t help starting to worry. Eventually, she sought the advice of her GP. In no time, she was minding what she ate, exercising, taking dietary supplements, and tracking her ovulations. But despite doing everything her GP suggested, she didn’t get pregnant. Finally, after 18 months of trying, the joy was sucked out of the “baby project”, and they were left feeling frustrated and disappointed.

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    Me or you?

    Jakob and Annemarie sought advice from a couple of friends who had been in a similar situation a few years back; they recommended speaking with Bjørn from the Maigaard fertility clinic – he had helped them become pregnant. Jakob and Annemarie discussed their options and decided to take their friends’ advice. They contacted the team at Maigaard in Aarhus, the biggest fertility clinic in the area. They were met by a competent and compassionate staff, and before they knew it, they were guided through a panel of examinations; throughout the entire ordeal, they always felt they were in safe hands. If they were going to seek fertility treatment, they both agreed it would be through Maigaard. The tests revealed the news they had been hoping for: they could indeed become parents, but they would likely need help from a sperm donor, as Jakobs’ motile sperm count was low and unlikely to improve.

    Accepting the situation

    It took a while for the hopeful couple to accept that they were not going to become parents on their own terms. However, it was now time to make a choice. They could keep trying indefinitely and hope for a miracle, they could adopt, or they could abandon the idea of a child altogether. The only other viable option was to use a sperm donor. In the following days, they had more than one difficult conversation. But In the end, they both agreed that seeking out a sperm donor was the best option. This way they could still go through the joys associated with expecting and preparing for a child – watching the belly grow, experiencing the birth of their child, and embarking on the next chapter of their lives together as parents.

    Finding the best match

    Annemarie and Jakob learned all they needed to know about choosing a sperm donor from the staff at the fertility clinic. They agreed they wanted a Non-ID Release donor. They preferred one with a physical resemblance to Jakob, but apart from that, they didn’t want to know much more. It was going to be their child no matter what. That said, they were pleased to hear that Donor-Network requires all donors to pass a criminal record check and possess an average or higher IQ. They felt confident that with Donor-Network, any donor they chose would be of sound health, body, and mind. In the end, Annemarie chose Maverick to be their donor because of his physical resemblance to Jakob and their similarities in interests and personalities.

    Becoming pregnant

    The hopeful couple went straight for IVF treatment to increase their chances of success.  

    Annemarie tolerated the hormonal stimulation treatments well, and within a few weeks, she had multiple eggs ready for extraction. Shortly after the eggs and donor sperm were mixed in the lab, two embryos began developing. A team of specialised midwives (embryologists) monitored the embryos, and eventually, the best-developed embryo was transferred into Annemarie’s womb. 

    The couple now had to wait two weeks until a pregnancy test would reveal if implantation had occurred. Annemarie will never forget the morning she saw two red lines on the test, confirming life was forming within her. The soon-to-be parents were then referred to standard antenatal care as their pregnancy was considered just as natural as any other. Despite occasional bouts of moodiness and morning sickness, it was a time of excitement and anticipation. Five days before her due date, Annemarie felt the first contractions coming on; in no time, it was time to head to the hospital.  

    The moment they brought their beautiful daughter home for the first time, the worries and uncertainties of the past seemed to melt away – they had finally become a family. 

    Preparing for a dynasty

    Jakob and Annemarie made sure to secure the same donor for future siblings. They knew they didn’t want their child to grow up as an only child, and they liked the idea of using the same donor. Moreover, as she felt a connection to the hardships of the involuntarily childless, Annemarie decided to become an egg donor during her next round of IVF. Any unused eggs from her treatment would benefit other would-be families who were struggling with infertility.

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